Made in Ecuador

I have to get this off my chest, before I gouge my eyes out or shoot myself in the face- I hate living/being around my older brother. He is the biggest asshole in the world and I do not understand what I did/do to deserve to be treated the way I am around him. Before last night and this afternoon I would have said that my brother and I have an awkward relationship, which is normal since we’re from different generations, we grew up in different cultures and we have opposite personalities. But now I believe he enjoys, just plain eats up either embarrassing, humiliating, and/or making fun of me. I’ve had enough and the thing that kills me the most is that I have to be nice to him, because he’s my brother, and he’s a boy and that’s how brothers act with sisters. Really? They’re suppose to be assholes? I’m also starting to believe he hates me or I did something that really pissed me off so I’m going to pay for it until I’m 50. Write more later.

Today I turn 25. I am a quarter of a century old. To be honest, I don’t really feel different. After my 21st birthday, I don’t feel like I’m getting older. That doesn’t mean that I lie about my age, I don’t mind getting older. I think the reason I’ve been freaking out about this birthday is because I’m now considered an adult. What a mouthful. In a previous post I stated that I never wanted to become an adult, not because I want to be a kid forever and avoid responsibilities. I love taking care of myself and crave to be 100% economically independent. However, from observations and discussions with adults, I’ve found that most [adults] accept the monotonous routine of life- going to work, cleaning/organizing, going out etc. There is no real reflection on their lives, their goals or themselves. I know that you need to pay your bills, mow the lawn, take care of your kids (if you have them) hence at the end of the day it’s nice to watch some TV and shut down your mind. BUT I don’t want that, I don’t want to fall into that pattern. That’s probably why I fear becoming older and doing adults “things” like getting married, getting a desk job. I don’t want to lose my passion of fighting and working for the Latino community. I don’t want to get sucked into a “normal” life. I just hope I don’t get so tired that I see the injustices in our world as inevitable.

Then again, I know that I am different from the general populace, I know I look at the world with different eyes and analyze it more critically. That may sound elitist, except I don’t think my lifestyle is for everyone. I just hate the fact that it’s judged and questioned by society. A friend of mine, who I hadn’t talked to in almost a year, called me today to wish me a happy birthday. Very sweet. Then we proceeded to talk about our jobs, families, and love lives. He asked me when I was getting married, I said I wasn’t. He responded, “Oh eventually, huh?” I replied “No, not getting married”. And this went on for a couple of more rounds. It’s interesting how because I don’t want to get married, I’m considered a freak, a weirdo, I know it’s because I’ma woman and even more so because I am a Latina woman. But that’s for another long post. Right now my mami is here and we’re going to eat cookies and catch up.

I’m so blessed ^_^

[Originally written: June 15th, 2008]

It’s soccerfest/soccermania in my house! It’s weird everytime I want to watch some Murphy Brown or Monk, I can’t because one of my brother’s is taping a soccer game. That’s fine I like to watch futbol, although it gets too intense for me, especially when Ecuador is playing. I don’t want the players to get fouled and I get mad when the referee makes a botched call >:I

I don’t know much about Ecuadorian futbol but we do have a pretty decent team- we’ve gone to the last two World Cups (dusting my left shoulder) hahaha anyways they’re (my brothers) fans-passionate, intense & loyal. I’m glad that they’re not obsessed to point of screaming obscenities at the TV or turning bright red when the referee doesn’t call offsides. Plus their love of futbol gives us an excuse to have friends over, drink cold beer and jump up and down when Ecuador makes a goal

[Originally written June 4^th, 2008]

The other night I was watching TV and saw a commercial for Pomegranate Raspberry Beer. That’s right, berry flavored beer. When did this become a trend? I’ve noticed in the stores there is lemon favored beer, trying to get an upper hand at the Corona with a slice of lime look. I’m not a beer connoisseur but this is a bad idea. Beer is not suppose to taste fruity and sweet, it’s suppose to be…it’s supposed to taste like… hmmm how to describe it?  Kind of bitter?  But not like grapefruit!  All I know is that it should complement salty, crunchy or fried food!   It’s supposed to be ICE cold and drunk on a hot summer afternoon, while lying in a hammock…on that note, I should remind my brother to hang up the hammock!

[Originally written: June 1st, 2008]

I love back rubs (I don’t get enough of them!), listening to Mana, dancing ( anything with a good beat and my hips just move). I also love massaging my mom’s head. She LOVES it and that makes me happy

I hate head rubs. That might not make sense since I like to give them, but they make my skin crawl! One time at a mall this random guy place an octopus head massager on my head and I screamed! He was embarrassed, I was mad! No one was a winner…